5 Things to keep you safe this year
In Wisconsin and Montana, we’ve learned that it can snow in summer, and rain all year long – even when it’s 90ºF. Here are 5 tips that can help you survive this year.
(not for CA riders)
We don’t know if global warming is real, but we do know that a deep freeze hit some parts of North America, while parts of Africa will be out of water soon. Whether this is part of a natural climate change (think of the prehistoric transitions between heat-age and ice-age) or just Mother Nature trying to keep riding exciting, here are a few tips to keep you upright while on two (or three) wheels.
Icy shadows/Creative Riding
Despite their best intentions, the other blogs, newsletters and alternative marketing ‘tip mills’ have run the gamut of possible dangers, and have therefore run out of material. If you’ve read one cautionary safety article, you’ve basically read them all.
Damp leaves and bridges/Creative Riding
Until bike technology changes drastically or Mother Earth finally throws something new on the road (sufuric-acid rain?) then there can only be so much to write about every year. Just like that old fake Christmas Tree or great grandpa’s vintage Menorah, these stories get pulled out of storage and dusted off every year around autumn. In many places (Wisconsin, Wales, Thailand) it rains all year round.
Wet roads/Creative Riding
Once in a while there may year-specific gear or bikes inserted strategically into the rejuvenated posts, but the story is still the same… watch your speed in the rain, don’t ride over wet leaves or gravel, and ice may form in the shadows since those parts stay colder all day. I don’t know what people in England and Scotland do. It’s wet all the time there. I live in Southern California. I’ve never seen a wet road.
Here’s what they don’t tell you:
1. Watch out for snakes
These skinny bastards are out for blood. After years of being turned into hat bands, cheesy guitar straps, and even cheesier biker boots, the slithering kind have had enough.
2. Watch out for famous people.
Famous people commission one-off bike builds all the time, get free swag from vendors, and often get asked to sit on (or even sign) motorcycles all the time. Thus, when they are approached by a group of people, their first reaction is to assume that everyone wants an autograph and a pic of said celeb on their bike. This is hardly ever true, but try telling that to a celeb. Especially that Giraffe from Grand Theft Auto…
3. Be weary of pedestrians… in London
While it’s true that more jacked up footage comes out of Russia than any other place on Earth, that’s because they are the only place smart enough to utilize dash cams. At one time pedestrians ruled the road- literally. Wagons, carriages, street cars, and automobiles used to yield to foot traffic. Over time, Automobile manufacturers lobbied the government and started propaganda campaigns like “jay-walking” to turn the public against humans who were getting their stroll on. Now you’d better watch out if you’re hoofing it across the street or you may end up on a YouTube gem like this one from London:
I like this guy’s style so much, here’s another braaaap against the man-chine:
4. Avoid riding near photographers.
Nowadays, everything is documented. Just 150 years ago, film was a precious expense. Only important things got photographed. Today, even your watch has a camera on it. Not only is everything captured, but us humans will do anything to prove how cool we are on camera. Unfortunately for a lot of us who ride, that means our fails are also documented and shared for all to see. Here is a small section of Mulholland that just begs riders to biff in front of a professional photographer.
5. Avoid cryptozooids
I don’t even know if I spelled that right, but YOU HEARD ME!!! There’s nothing worse than riding in an unfamiliar area, except for riding in an unfamiliar area where wonky creatures leap out and.. holy sh*#, it coulda killed you! Then you chase it?!!?! WTF is wrong with you?!?
I’m gonna give you some advice that my 5th grade gym teacher gave me during my first time in the locker room: “If you see something you’ve never seen before – BLOW IT AWAY!!”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDmFZzELF7Q